Jerry and I were back on the tandem today, this time, to ride around Tiburon Loop. It's a really beautiful ride with a lot of rollers. There is one significant climb near the beginning of the ride, and I felt that I was ready for Camino Alto.
We were, in fact, more than ready. We went up Camino Alto a little faster than usual, and it felt just fine. The rest of the ride was delightful, cruising through sun and shade until we got to downtown Tiburon, where we decided it was time for lunch.
There are a couple of places where cyclists usually congregate for snacks or lunch, and we chose neither. Instead, we went to a small place where I usually get a cappucino to go when we are on group rides. This time, though, we checked in for brunch. Jerry had a quesadilla, and I had eggs over easy, sourdough toast and lots of coffee. After brunch, we got back on the tandem to finish the ride.
Riding is a great time to think, and mostly, my mind was filled with thoughts of Hank. Hank was a short, squat tabby that had, as Jerry put it, sneaked in the back door of our emotions six years ago. A rescue group had posted on Craigslist that a foster home was needed immediately for a cat at the Berkeley Animal Shelter who was due to be put down the next day. We had recently lost two cats in rapid succession-- one being my soulmate,Fernando, and another who arrived ill and left us far too soon. So I thought, what the heck; I can save this cat's life until he finds a permanent home.
I went over to Berkeley and the cat they called "Big Guy" climbed into my lap and just kind of stared at me. He was cute and pretty compliant. A worker at the shelter told me that he had some medical problems-- chronic upper respiratory conditions and he had had to have a tooth pulled. He had just been neutered as well. He had been found wandering the streets of Emeryville and he looked pretty much like a street cat. His ears were shredded and he had a couple of scars. But he sure didn't act like a street cat, at least not at that moment.
Jerry had his doubts about bringing another cat into the house so soon, but then he met the cat I named Hank. We initially thought we should isolate him so he could get used to the house as well as used to Jamie, our geriatric calico. But he'd have none of it. He was ready to join the family, so we followed his lead.
I will never forget that first evening. I was sitting on the couch,eating a bowl of beans and rice and he was acting very interested. I thought, okay, I'll show him. I gave him a piece of broccoli. He ate it. So then, I gave him a black bean, and he ate that as well. The street cat in him did show itself, particularly when Jerry and I were having dinner. Hank loved chicken and he would try to bat it out of our hands or off our fork.
Hank came with one more health problem: he had squamous cell carcinoma on his nose, probably from his time living outdoors. It was then that we figured he was pretty much unadoptable and he was going to be part of our family. He had surgery, he was put on pills for his wheezing and itchiness, and that was that.
We have no idea how old Hank was when he came to live with us. Our vet estimated 10, but that's an easy number. He mostly cuddled, ate and slept. He was an incredibly good sleeper and spent all night in our bed with his head on one of our pillows, stretched out between us. When we weren't home, Jerry and I played the game, Where do you think Hank is sleeping now?
When we went out of town, our neighbor Vicki would come over to feed Jamie and Hank, and she absolutely fell in love with Hank. Unfortunately, Jamie, although 19, still has the heart of a feral and doesn't let too many people get close to her. She would come out to say hi to Vicki, but that was about it. On the other hand, Hank would plop himself on the couch with her, and they'd watch Judge Judy together. Vicki told me it was his favorite show.
But a few months ago, our normally stocky cat suddenly didn't look so beefy, so we took him to the vet. She was alarmed at his weight loss and ordered some tests, including an ultrasound. A mass was spotted on his pancreas and surgery was performed. It was a lot for that now little guy.
But he did survive the surgery and came home, with an unclear diagnosis. Maybe pancreatic cancer, and, after some more bloodwork, a definite diagnosis of pancreatic insufficiency. We mixed enzymes into his food but it burned his mouth so we got creative. I stuffed capsules with the enzyme and shoved them down his throat every time he ate, which was around five times a day. If he wanted to eat, we fed him as much as he wanted of high-quality canned food. You can imagine Jamie was in heaven over this, because we fed her at least a little every time we fed Hank,
But as Jamie got plumper, Hank continued to lose weight. For a while he maintained, but then his bones were so visible through his skin. He began eating less and less. Even baby food stopped tempting him, and we knew his time was limited.
We spent as much time as we could with him, and then we knew. We waited for Vicki to come home so she could say goodbye, and then we drove to the emergency vet. They had been so kind when it was time to say goodbye to Fernando, we felt comfortable with our decision to take him there. We wrapped him in a towel and drove the few minutes to the offices.
Just as they had been with Fernando, they were understanding. They put an IV in his back leg so we could continue to hold him. They administered a sedative, and then the medicine to make his heart stop.
They asked if we wanted to stay and hold him for a while but we said no. We knew he was gone and we had spent the days before saying goodbye. We told him how much we loved him and we understood he needed to leave us. We didn't like it, but we understood.
I know he had a wonderful life with us and he loved us very much. We saved him on that day six years ago, and he lived a comfortable happy life with us. I thought about all the things he did, and what we did to him over the past six years. The Santa Outfit, the shower cap. He took all of our "abuse" with good humor, though he wasn't above a bite if we tickled his belly. When we first got him Jerry would have to wear welding gloves to hold him when I trimmed his nails, but that soon gave way to an occasional yowl and the clippers did their job.
People have already asked if we will get another cat. Most likely we will, but not quite yet. We are going out of town next week for a vacation we almost cancelled to stay home with him. We cancelled a trip in August because we didn't want to leave him.
I'll continue to think about him, occasionally think I see him. What I'm waiting for is my first Hank dream. Then I know he is okay, wherever he is.
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