Fear, Trepidation and Fruit

Tomorrow I get on a single bike for the first time in more than a year. I am taking a How to Ride a Bike Class at REI in Corte Madera. Intellectually, and probably physically, I know how to ride a bike. So what is keeping me from riding? Mostly fear.

I took a bike skills class from Velogirls more than a year ago and did really well. But then I didn't get on the single for more than a week and all the fear and unsteadiness came right back.

It's been two years since I crashed, but it's still fresh, somehow. I ended up at Marin General with stitches and a damaged cranial nerve that left me seeing double for six months. I have no idea what happened. I don't remember being put in an ambulance and taken to the Emergency Department. I don't remember giving them Jerry's cell number. I don't remember being taken to a room. The first thing I remember is seeing Jerry hovering over me, asking me if I was okay.

So, yes, I'm scared. But I rode a bike when I was a kid, and when I lived in Montana, I took hail storm money and bought a really great Trek. We had a killer hail storm in 1980, or maybe 81. My little Honda looked like someone had gone beserk with a ballpeen hammer. I got insurance money, paid off some bills and plopped down $400 for a really great bike. That was a lot of money for a bike in 1980. But it was a great bike. I rode all over Helena, and then when I moved to Missoula to go back to school, I didn't get a parking permit for campus. I either rode my bike, or if there was too much snow or ice, I walked.

It's true I was younger than, but in reality I wasn't a kid. So why is riding a bike so scary now? Besides the crash, it's becoming accustomed to being a stoker on a tandem. All I have to do is pedal. I look around, side to side. I don't have to steer; I don't have to shift gears; I just pedal. It's mindless. I joke and say Jerry's the brains and I'm the brawn. He, in reality is both, but I kick in as much as I can. And I love it. But it would be great to get out there on a single every now and then, if for no other reason than to see what I can do on my own.

Along with cycling on my mind, so is the abundance of wonderful fruit this season brings. I have yet to overdose on strawberries, blueberries and cherries, though it seems I have been eating them nonstop. I bought a large container of blueberries the other day, thinking I would bake a gallette or pie with them. But I'm enjoying them so much just as they are. I can always bake a blueberry something with frozen ones after the season is over. For now, I just want to enjoy their unadulterated goodness.